limitless

2011/07/24, 2:32 AM
Filed under: Uncategorized

KJ moment once again. I had a good amount of time today to start on my writing project due tomorrow night at midnight. I didn’t start anything…my mind wasn’t focused in even starting the project. so why bother when I know everything wouldn’t be productive. I might be going crazy…i dunno. I feel like there’s limitations in what I do now. Everything i want to do is controlled. theres no space or time to even jump it off the way i’d like too..

my wife comes inn 2nd week august i believe in jersey. kinda salty w/ it because her first stop is in jersey. i wanted that to happen though…just so she can be around familiar people. imma bitch sometimes, cause yO, shes BEEN w/ familiar people in the philippines. what about me? im out here fuckin working my ass off doing what im s’pose to be doing…where the fuck is my vacay? im out here grindin no breaks off nd shit. shit is gettin to me bad man. Control-wise, my cash flow isnt up to par. my mentality is right but the bank account cant match my recreational activities you know? thats why i feel theres limitations in what i want to do.

im doin this girl real dirty nd juss fuckin leave her in texas while i fly my ass back to jersey for myself. fuck it man, imma be selfish. imma complete this semester of school, get right for this advancement and then throw the dueces up for myself. im too young man, i feel like im livin a old mans lifestyle…stayin home nd doin some bullshit. reason being, my shit is controlled now. i cant just say “fuck it”…it would be careless of me. cause theres NO ONE thats gonna hold me down man. only person that got my back is myself. thats probably the big issue with me man.. im the only muthafucka holdin myself down. then im inviting this girl to come down and live with me. THIS IS ALL ME though…im the one that jumped into this marriage bullshit, i willingly threw the ring on the finger.. theres no one else to blame but myself. fuck mannn..

whatever mann. this is not how i pictured myself to be at this age.